Following the outbreak of the pandemic and the chaos it brought to major cities, an increasing number of people are seeking refuge in rural areas. Articles like "Americans are Considering Moving to Less Populated Areas to Avoid Coronavirus" in the *New York Post* and "Escape to the Country: Why City Living Is Losing Its Appeal During the Pandemic" in the *Wall Street Journal* highlight this trend. Meanwhile, pieces such as "The High Cost of Panic-Moving: Fleeing a Big City Because of the Pandemic is a Bigger Gamble Than It Might Seem" in the *Atlantic* and "The Pandemic Is Making People Reconsider City Living, Trading Traffic for Chickens" in the *Washington Post* delve deeper into this shift. Look, I understand the appeal. Rural life has its charm—more space, connection to nature, and fewer people—but this isn't exactly a novel phenomenon. People have been fleeing urban centers for rural havens since the early days of the United States. In fact, Tennessee has long been a popular destination for "city refugees," particularly from California. But if the pandemic has inspired you to consider swapping the hustle and bustle of city life for a quieter existence among the peach orchards, here's some advice to help you adjust.
Contrary to what you might see in movies, rural folks aren't always hostile to newcomers. However, the recurring issue is that some people move here without understanding the local culture or lifestyle, only to end up deeply dissatisfied but unable to leave due to financial constraints. Often, Californian transplants don't actually want to live in Tennessee—they just can't afford California anymore. These individuals frequently attempt to recreate their former city life, forgetting the reasons they left in the first place. This isn't a new problem; comedian Tom Naughton lampooned this behavior over a decade ago. These "California Karens" are frustrating, but seeing people so unhappy here is equally distressing. Before making any move, here are some general tips to help you adapt wherever you're headed:
- Conduct basic research about the place
- Visit multiple times
- Talk to locals about daily life
- Learn about the community and culture
No matter where you relocate, there will be an adjustment period, and you'll inevitably influence the local culture. However, you don't want to settle somewhere fundamentally incompatible with your lifestyle and values.
If you're planning to live off the grid, try visiting during different seasons to fully grasp the climate. I also recommend checking out *Escape the City: A How-To Homesteading Guide*, set to release in December. Although I'm usually cautious about recommending Kickstarter projects, I've read an early draft of the book, and it covers homesteading in meticulous detail while exploring rural living in a way few other books do. Additionally, the author began homesteading in New England in their 40s, so it’s a great resource if either scenario applies to you.
Rural life offers plenty of benefits: more freedom, proximity to nature, and fewer people. However, there are significant downsides and aspects you might overlook. Before taking the plunge, here are ten things you need to know about country life. My experiences reflect my southern upbringing, but I strive to offer general advice.
Life Moves at a Slower Pace
Country life is slower, and southern country life is even slower. Initially, this appeals to city dwellers who say they want to slow down. But in the country, you don't get to pick and choose when life slows down—it happens whether you like it or not.
For instance, you might be in a hurry at the grocery store, yet the cashier takes two or three minutes to count out your change. Or you might find people parking in the middle of the road just to chat. These situations are not rare. Driving, you might get stuck behind a horse-drawn buggy or a slow-moving farm vehicle. If you're accustomed to a fast pace, this can be maddening—even for someone like me who grew up in the sticks. Country people think, talk, and do everything slower.
Accept this as a feature of rural life. Try to relax and embrace the slower rhythm. Deep breathing exercises might help. Isn't that why you're moving from the city in the first place?
Services Are Limited
In cities, you're used to having access to various services. Local governments handle trash collection, firefighting, and even dispatching police officers to your home if needed. You likely have fast internet, decent hospitals, and reliable utilities. Turn on the tap, and clean water flows. Flush the toilet, and waste is whisked away.
This isn't always the case in rural areas. Calling the police might result in them advising you to handle the situation yourself. If they do come, it could take hours. If I call the fire department, I can expect a bill. We have one hospital, and it's not great. (This is particularly concerning during the pandemic, especially given the current healthcare challenges.)
Getting someone on the phone or receiving a callback, whether for businesses or government offices, can be difficult. Sometimes, businesses close despite their posted hours because the owner is tired or running errands.
Electricity may not be as reliable as you're used to. While things have improved significantly since I was a child, we occasionally went days without power. A decade ago, when I visited rural New Hampshire, everyone had wood stoves because power outages were frequent, even in neighborhoods with million-dollar homes. If you live in a cold region like the Northeast, a wood stove and generator could mean the difference between life and death. Wood stoves require purchasing or cutting firewood—you must always prepare for winter.
More: Winter survival kits, extreme cold weather gear, and winterizing your home and car
I'm fortunate to have city water and fiber-optic internet, but many people rely on wells with questionable groundwater and satellite internet, which is both slow and costly. However, I do have a septic tank, and if it gets clogged, I'm responsible for fixing it.
I personally prefer this setup. When I lived within city limits, the government trash service was terrible—often late and leaving more mess than they cleaned up. On my farm, we have two competing private trash services, and the one we use is excellent. They're cheaper than city services, never leave a mess, and are often gone before sunrise. Plus, I don't have to worry much about police harassment since they rarely visit, and the local police are laid-back.
That said, it's not all smooth sailing. After a big storm, my neighbor and I often have to clear debris from the road ourselves because the highway department can take days. When my wife is pregnant, I have to drive her a couple of hours to see her OBGYN. And commuting to work in the city is a nightmare—I once had a 90-minute commute that cost a fortune in gas and wear and tear on my cars. I was rear-ended twice in two weeks, in two different vehicles. For years after quitting that job, my eye would twitch whenever I drove on the interstate.
Still, these sacrifices were worth it for the freedom to raise chickens, shoot guns, camp in our woods, and live as we pleased.
When considering a property, keep these factors in mind. Before moving into this house, it lacked fiber-optic internet, but I noticed the hookup by the road and confirmed service availability by speaking with the local phone company. If you have medical concerns, you might want to choose a property closer to a good hospital. Make a list of your needs and assess whether your potential new home meets them.
More on what you might need to survive once you move:
- Best home water filter
- IFAK first aid kit list
- Best fire extinguisher for your home and vehicle
- How to store gas at home (and does gas go bad?)
- Off-grid power 101
To thrive in the country, you need to adopt the mindset of self-reliance. This means reducing reliance on external systems and increasing dependence on your own resources. Preparedness should be a regular part of your life, not just something you do occasionally. Here, we have limited government, partly due to financial constraints and partly because we prefer it that way. That brings me to my next point...
Country People Are More Conservative
It seems to be a fact of life that, on average, country people are more conservative than city people, whether you're in Maine or California. My theory is that city residents depend more on services and view big government as beneficial, while rural residents are less dependent on services or are accustomed to poor ones, leading them to see government as an unnecessary nuisance.
Regardless of political ideology, this is largely true, though I admit I'm painting with a broad brush. Without fail, I pass numerous Confederate flags and Trump signs on the way to my house. For this reason, it's crucial to scout out a place before moving. Understand what you're getting into before you go. Drive a few minutes into Kentucky, and the landscape changes significantly, with fewer Confederate flags and more Democratic yard signs. Rural New York will feel very different from rural Montana.
Whenever you move somewhere new, it's important to listen more than you talk. Agree with the other person on points of agreement and ask questions when you disagree. "Oh, why do you think that is?" It's a gentle way to challenge without alienating. Often, you'll find areas of common ground, even if you have vastly different worldviews.
This varies regionally. While politics in upstate New York might differ from New York City, people there are likely more liberal than rural Tennesseans. Ensure you're moving to a place where you'll feel comfortable with the culture.
Beyond politics, another way country people can be conservative is through the attitude of "We've always done it that way." Everyone is a creature of habit to some degree, but country people can take this to extremes, clinging to outdated practices even when they no longer work. The more involved you become in local politics, the more evident this becomes.
For a gentle example, when I first moved in and mentioned I planned to get chickens, my neighbor doubted they'd survive long due to predators. Most people around here let their chickens roam freely during the day and lock them up at night. I used a chicken tractor, and I've only lost one to a raccoon. That's also an example of how you can introduce new ideas without disrupting the community.
Hostility Toward Outsiders Can Be a Real Problem
There are certain stereotypes about rural people, especially southerners, and there are reasons for them. Racism is a real issue in rural areas—not just systemic but outright hostility and prejudice. (This can also occur in urban areas.)
In other rural places, people are hostile toward anyone perceived as an outsider. There's a town near here where I'm always met with dirty looks and aggressive behavior from people who don't even know me. "You're not from around here" is enough to trigger negativity.
In areas that are more racially homogeneous, systematic discrimination can manifest differently. If you have the 'wrong' last name, you might find yourself a frequent target of law enforcement (I recommend the documentary *The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia* for an extreme example). Conversely, those with the 'right' last name can seemingly get away with anything. *The Andy Griffith Show*, required viewing for any aspiring country person, captures this mindset perfectly.
The good news is that, as an outsider, you'll largely be insulated from these historic tensions, provided the community is open to newcomers.
Some communities are more welcoming than others, so I encourage you to do your research and take field trips before moving. Often, initial hostility fades if you humbly integrate with the community. Eventually, you'll be accepted as part of it.
There Is No Nightlife
I once had a neighbor from Nairobi who lamented the lack of activity in our small town. She complained about the absence of entertainment and shared stories of the vibrant nightlife in Nairobi.
It's true. If your idea of fun involves gathering friends, hitting bars, getting drunk, dancing, grabbing tacos, and riding an Uber home, you won't find much of that in the country. That doesn't mean my wife and I don't occasionally enjoy a night out, but it usually involves dropping off the kids with their grandparents, driving two hours to Nashville, having dinner, walking around a bit, and heading home before it gets too late.
If you're a bar enthusiast, there might be one in a small town, but the atmosphere will be very different from what you're used to. Country people are often more religious, frequently disapproving of alcohol consumption. Liquor stores are a recent addition to my county, and we still have "blue laws" prohibiting alcohol sales on Sundays. Again, this varies regionally.
So, what is there to do in the country? Country activities, of course! Many people ride horses, go boating, fish, hunt, shoot guns, barbecue, and camp. There's plenty to do, but it's a very different experience from city life.
Family and Church Dominate Social Life
One cornerstone of social life in the country is family. In cities, it's typical to make friends and spend exclusive time with them. In the country, at least in the South, we have friends, but we don't see them as often. That's because they're usually busy with their families, and friends aren't typically included. This isn't universal, but it can make life as a single person in the country lonelier. Everyone's busy with their families, and there's less time to hang out with you.
On the flip side, you might find yourself "adopted" by a welcoming family.
Churches are another major pillar of rural social life, and many people attend for that aspect even if they're not deeply religious. In fact, church is often a bigger social outlet for country folks than family, simply because the entire extended family typically attends church together every Sunday. In some rural areas, Tinder is a barren landscape for dating, and church is where singles meet.
While some churchgoers are mainly there for the social scene, many are serious about their faith. If you're not religious, keep this in mind and try to be respectful.
Guns Are Normal
I'm not saying you need to own guns, but they're a normal part of rural life. In cities, hearing gunfire is a good reason to panic—people are close together, and there's rarely a legitimate reason to fire a gun. In the country, gunfire might signal the start of hunting season or a family reunion.
Guns are integral to rural life. When it takes the police half an hour to reach your house, you want something for self-defense. If a coyote or fox threatens your animals, you want to be able to shoot them or at least scare them off. If you hunt, a gun is essential. If you need to euthanize livestock, a gun is usually the best tool for the job.
People shoot guns for fun, to improve their skills, and to sight in their rifles for deer season. Some even enjoy shooting Tannerite for the explosive effect. While it can be annoying, it's usually harmless.
However, some gun owners make unwise decisions. A friend of mine accidentally shot birdshot onto his uncle's roof. No one was hurt, but it still wasn't smart.
If you're moving to the country for greater firearm freedom, check local laws regarding firearms and talk to locals to gauge attitudes. In many places, hunting is restricted to shotguns because flat terrain allows rifle fire to travel far and potentially hit unintended targets. That's less of an issue in the hills of Tennessee.
Again, owning firearms isn't mandatory, but it's a useful tool to have. A simple .22 rifle or single-shot shotgun can cover most needs. My grandmother kept a single-shot .22 rifle on her wall in case a fox threatened her chickens.
If you decide to purchase a gun, I strongly urge you to learn how to use, maintain, and securely store it properly. Tennessee's hunter safety course (required for a hunting license) and handgun permit class were invaluable to me, even though I've been around guns my whole life.
Learning about firearms? Start here: Total beginners guide to guns
You Will Hear Weird Noises at Night
Aside from gunfire, country life offers plenty of nighttime sounds, both eerie and soothing. Scratches, howls, mysterious growls, and hoots are all part of the rural experience. Most of the time, these sounds are harmless.
In the country, you share space with a whole ecosystem of wildlife, like possums, coyotes, rabbits, owls, and raccoons. Usually, these animals avoid human contact.
Humans can also produce strange noises. Shortly after moving here, I woke up at 1 AM to what sounded like circus music. Assuming I was dreaming, I stepped outside. The music was coming from the woods, growing louder as I listened. I half expected to see clowns in my yard. By the way, I'm terrified of clowns and was half asleep. I woke my wife to confirm whether I was hallucinating or if she could hear it too. She heard it too.
We listened for a while and eventually realized it was mariachi music. Some neighbors hold a party about once a year, and I no longer get spooked by the music now that I know it's not clowns plotting mischief.
It's normal to feel uneasy for your first few weeks in the country. Over time, you'll relax, and you'll learn to differentiate between strange sounds and normal ones.
Establish Your Presence
There isn't much to fear, but that doesn't mean there's nothing to fear. A sad reality of rural living is that many communities have been affected by the opioid epidemic and other substance addictions.
"Meth heads" are a significant problem around here. At our old house, a family of them lived across the street. Their windows were always open, lights always on, even in the dead of winter at 2 AM. Not long after moving to the farm, I found a half-naked woman in our yard asking me to do something about my dog. Yes, I responded, I can give the dog a treat, please leave. That dog later disappeared.
Things would vanish from outside our house. One night, we arrived to find a naked woman running through our yard. Such occurrences might be strange in a city or suburb, but it's bizarre when surrounded by more cows than people.
Even seemingly harmless neighbors might test you, something that happens every time I move to a rural area. Here, that meant drunk guys from the area pulling up on their side-by-sides and peppering me with questions, like a redneck version of Jonathan Frakes. "Where do you go to church?" "How much do you want for this place?" "Know a girl named Peggy?" One guy, so trashed he could barely walk, much less drive, pulled out his Ruger LCP and waved it around to show it off. I responded by pulling out my Glock 19 and handing it to him. That seemed to pass the redneck sniff test.
Before we had kids, I might have laughed more of this stuff off. I'm easygoing and used to weirdness. But with children, I worried my oldest son might go missing or worse. I had to establish that yes, this small farm and its little yard are ours, and we're not people to be messed with.
After the dog vanished, I got a Great Pyrenees. Sadly, he was hit by a truck before turning two, but during his short life, this man-sized beast aggressively tackled anyone who dared enter my yard, including me. He was a sweet dog, but his size and boldness were intimidating.
Another important step was installing game cameras around the property. These infrared, motion-activated cameras are designed for scouting deer in the woods, but they're also useful for home security. I once laughed until I cried at a photo of a random stranger staring straight into my camera, his mouth agape as if he'd seen Bigfoot. I sometimes forget to change the batteries or SD cards in the cameras, but their presence alone sends a message: yes, I am watching, and no, I will not be messed with. Word gets around.
Perhaps you think I'm a terrible person, but this is sometimes necessary to establish yourself in the country. My kids are free to play in the yard, my dog roams safely, and packages don't vanish from my porch. Sometimes I forget to lock my door or leave my storage building unlocked, and nothing bad happens because I've established myself as someone who isn't easily pushed around.
I want to make it clear here that this shouldn't be a license to act like a psychopath. I don't aim guns at people, threaten them, or sic dogs on them. I aim to be cordial and polite to strangers, but there are times when I need to establish that I won't be a victim. Teddy Roosevelt said to "speak softly and carry a big stick." The Andy Griffith equivalent is to smile big, be friendly, and sometimes clean a shotgun on your front porch to make a point.
It's also wise to identify good neighbors and build relationships with them. Besides the cows, we have the best neighbors, and we often warn each other about strange happenings in the area. There's safety in numbers.
You Will Learn to Hate Ticks
All that said, I'd rather deal with meth heads than ticks. In summer, ticks are everywhere. They're silent, sneaky, and can transmit horrible diseases like Lyme Disease and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. You often can't feel them crawling on you or biting you, and they can hide in tiny crevices, like around your genitals. I sometimes get a tick on me just by stepping into my yard.
What can you do? No amount of prevention is foolproof, so you need a plan for removal. Most ticks I can simply pull off and either burn with a lighter or wash down the drain, but if they've embedded themselves, I need more drastic measures.
My main tools are a simple pair of tweezers and rubbing alcohol. Grab the tick as close to the skin as possible and gently pull straight out to avoid leaving the head in your skin. If it's really stuck, an alcohol-soaked cotton ball placed over the tick can help dislodge it. Thoroughly disinfect afterward, including washing your hands and tweezers.
More: What you need in your first-aid kit
An itchy bump is normal after a tick bite, but if you see a rash or experience other symptoms, see a doctor immediately for a preventive dose of doxycycline and a Lyme Disease test.
For prevention, use insect repellents containing picaridin or DEET. I'm all for essential oils and natural remedies, but they do nothing to repel ticks. Consider treating clothes, tents, sleeping bags, and other fabrics with permethrin, which lasts a long time and weakens or kills ticks before they can bite. Be cautious when using it around cats, but treated items should be safe once dry.
Speaking of cats, treat your animals for ticks and check them regularly. Dogs, cows, and horses are tick magnets.
There is one natural remedy that works: letting chickens or guinea fowl roam freely on your property. Both birds love eating ticks, especially guinea fowl, which can consume up to 4,000 ticks per day. However, free-range birds are vulnerable to predators and traffic, and guinea fowl are notoriously aggressive, so you might be solving one problem only to create another.
Bad Smells Are Normal
Ah, fresh country air. No smog, just the comforting smell of cow manure.
Wait, what?
There are plenty of unpleasant odors in the country. To those of us who grew up around them, they can be comforting. But if you didn't, it's something to get used to.
Cow manure smells great compared to chicken poop, which doesn't travel as far but is absolutely foul. Compost and sulfur water also contribute to the odor, which smells like the aftermath of a bean-eating contest.
A nearby farm has this sign on their fence:
Other farms have similar signs. As funny as that sign is, it's mass-produced for a reason. As I said earlier, you wouldn't be the first person to flee the city for the country. Many city dwellers move here, are utterly offended by unfamiliarities, and cause problems for longtime residents.
Don't be that person! If you're planning an escape from the city, understand what you're getting into and realize there will be an adjustment period. To make your move successful, you'll need to adjust your expectations and embrace new opportunities. I'd love to see more people move to the country and become less dependent, but I don't want you to be a miserable bane on everyone's existence, including your own.
Be Humble
You need to acknowledge that you're starting over in a place unfamiliar to you. It's common for city folks to move to the country and unconsciously think they have something the "yokels" lack. You need to understand that they're not the yokels; you are, and you have a lot to learn.
Country people are used to being condescended to and are very sensitive to it. Stereotypes about backward yokels are as old as time. So be humble about your newfound status and the fact that you're a stranger in a strange land, and you'll likely find people opening up to you and wanting to help.
Don't forget that you left or are leaving the big city for a reason. Your new neighbors are going to have some guesses as to why you left: crowded apartments during the pandemic, civil unrest, high taxes, traffic, etc. The point is, they know that if where you came from was so great, you'd still be there. Hearing new Tennesseans insult our state and proclaim the greatness of San Francisco is almost a running joke at this point. (As an aside, the one time I visited San Francisco, I found it perfectly lovely and not at all as it's commonly portrayed.)
It might even help to share horror stories about big city life with the locals, which helps to say, "I'm from the city but not of the city," and makes the locals feel better about their life choices. We country people sometimes envy city life, so if you make us feel better about ourselves, we'll associate positivity with you.
Also, respect and eye contact are expected in rural life much more than in the city. Practice saying things like "please," "thank you," "yes sir," and "yes ma'am." You'll be amazed at how far those phrases will take you when ingratiating yourself to country folks. Give respect, and you'll likely receive it in return.
You'll need that respect and the help that comes with it because a lot of farm knowledge is hyperlocal. Not only is it the case that what works in Florida might not work in Arkansas, but what works in one part of your county might not work where you live. No one knows more about growing vegetables in our small part of the world than my next-door neighbor. We have different philosophies on how to do that, but I respect his knowledge and experience.
Finally, the reality is that the people around you will influence you more than you influence them. Let's say you have a well-behaved kid, and that kid starts hanging out with a motorcycle gang. Would you think, "Wow, I'm so glad! My kid is going to rub off on that motorcycle gang!" No, of course not, because you know the gang will rub off on the kid much more than the kid rubs off on the gang. Jim Rohn famously postulated that you are the average of the five people you're around the most. So, instead of being a "California Karen" who wants to single-handedly change a community, consider how that community might change you, and if you'll like how that looks in five years.
More: COVID-19 food shortages: Get a CSA membership, or maybe your own chickens
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